been thinking...

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

“

—	John Steinbeck’s 1958 response to his eldest son’s proclamation of falling in love. I have found about 15 solid and timely reminders in here and a great fat affection for the closing line. via the Rumpus and Letters of Note

So for the past few years, I’ve been pondering a tattoo. (Yes, on crucial matters of the heart, my decisiveness slows to the rate of elephant gestation or old growth forest regeneration. I’m still trying to decide on a sr. high prom date.)

I know that I want to get one, for a lot of reasons, but I don’t want it to be a random symbol floating on a body part. I want it to be a meaningfully constructed and substantial piece of art. Emotional art, if you will! (tm. stop rolling your eyes).

But seriously, I’m a person to whom visual cues mean a lot. In months of turmoil, I strew giant notes to myself across my apartment. Buy costume jewelry that reminds my fingers and neck to guide my thoughts carefully. Write short missives on my stomach and pleas on my wrists, pull down my shirt and go back to work, remembering all day that that wisdom remains below.

The idea of inking something meaningful and permanent onto my very bones (ok, ok my flesh) is not just appealing, it is sensible and sound.

So I’ve narrowed the ideas down to two.

The lead choice right now is a map of the world. Old world colors - sepia tones and rich inks, lines of latitude and longitude, broad seas and a compass rose.

Just writing about it makes me grin. I love this idea - not just because it’s a symbol of wanderlust and journeys yet to make, but because then I can wear the world on my back. Every time I pull myself away from a destination that captivated and infiltrated and force myself home, I’ll have some tangible comfort to remind me that what I saw there and the people I met will literally remain stitched in to me forever.

So far, I’m thinking I’d like it to be fairly sizable and probably placed across my back.

Obviously, these samples have way too much detail but I’d like something inspired by them. I know I want some level of texture and intricacy and definitely a sea creature in one corner (what would travel be if it didn’t entail overcoming some fear or discomfort?)

Currently having zero experience with tattoos, I’d love your advice and pointers. I’m also totally open to suggestions of artists who might be willing to help piece together an original world map that has the elements I love without an impractical level of detail. If you know someone who might be interested, I’d love to talk!

The second runner up would be a beam and line from one of my all time favorite poems, printed across a steel bridge in Minneapolis. Oh the months I have spent in my life, walking and biking across that bridge, reading those words and willing them to become so.

“And now I couldn’t remember how I would have had it.”

“It is like a reason that picks you up and places you…

So let’s have it - your tattoo advice, caution, enthusiastic encouragement, wisdom? I’m all ears.